Harassment Diary - Part 1: My Background
Source:
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.religion.scientology/msg/a4b4c732953379fb
Part 1: My Background
The following, for my lawyers, attempts to put a number of
disparate probably relevant events in chronological sequence. An
attempt has been made to focus on the emotions and feelings that
the different crises caused.
I was born in Auschwitz... around the same time that my
parents died there. I was sent to various orphanages in Belgium,
along with my older sister Susy. She was adopted by a Belgian
Aunt and Uncle when I was 4-½, and I was adopted by the
Coopers. I came to America at 6 (I became a U.S. citizen at 8),
weighing only 36 pounds. [1]
In the summer of 1959, I returned to Belgium and saw my
sister again for the first time since childhood. This was
extremely upsetting to me, especially since she was living under
such horrible conditions. I was also extremely upset after being
shown a photograph of my dead parents. In addition, I was also
distressed to see that the members of my family who had survived
the
concentration camps (17 out of 22 had been killed), were
living in abject poverty, and some didn't seem to be mentally
all there after their concentration camp experiences. On top of
it, they all kept trying to convince me to return to live in
Belgium. And it also didn't help that my sister told me that I
was responsible for my mother's death. It seems that because she
was pregnant with me, she was unable to get away and was thus
taken by the Germans. This whole visit precipitated some guilts
and depressions that ultimately lead me into therapy in 1962
with Dr. Stanley Cath of Belmont, Massachusetts. [2]
I went to Brandeis and graduated in 3 years (not counting 6
months out for an appendectomy) with Honors in Psychology. [3]
I started off to get a Ph. D in psychology at Columbia
University, but hated it there and ultimately got a Masters
Degree in Psychology on a part-time basis.
Simultaneously, I joined the real world, got a job
psychoanalyzing television commercials, followed by two jobs
writing them for ad agencies. [Addendum 1997: While in advertising I sold my
first three articles — to Cosmopolitan, TV Guide, and The
Washington Post — and left advertising to become a full-time
freelance writer in 1968.]
Footnotes
1. Although my parents were dead, the
people in the orphanage never told me this. They foolishly
told me they were away and would come and get me one day.
This left me wondering what I had done that was so awful
that they would desert me, a problem compounded by the fact
that my family only visited me once in 6 years, while the
other kids all had family, and in some cases even parents,
who had put them in the home because they were too poor or
disturbed as a result of the war to care for them.
2.
It didn't help that I was quite lost and did poorly in
college my first year (although from the second on, I was
always Dean's List.) In addition, my parents had been
very-overprotective and controlling, giving me no freedom,
and I didn't know what to do with freedom when I had it. In
addition, I developed a huge crush on a really nasty s-o-b
who liked to shower me with affection and then distance
himself immediately afterwards. I was also constantly being
contacted by my Belgian family and sister who wanted me to
live there. My mother recently also told me that I told her
at the time that I wanted to go into therapy because I was
getting very anxious and depressed and having bad dreams
because living in the college dormitory reminded me of
living in the orphanages During this period...I also re-saw
my sister again in 1962 which was disastrous.
3.
Most of my 2 years of therapy with Dr. Stanley Cath of
Belmont Massachusetts centered on trying to alleviate the
guilt, depression etc., of the earlier years and their more
recent effect on me (mostly by making me fear desertion to
such a degree that I'm afraid to get close to people),
trying to show me that my relationships with men (such as
the one mentioned above) were very superficial and
ultimately self-destructive, trying to handle strongly
ambivalent feelings toward my over-protective parents, and
helping me to... [Addendum 1997: Line fell too low and can't be
read. Probably something to do with gaining a sense of self
or whatever.]
Footnotes 1997
97-1. Dean Benjamin e-mailed and offered to format all entries
for me so I'm grateful to him for this.
97-2. There is no date on this "diary" — technically a memoir
since it was written after the facts — but I am guessing at
1982 or possibly 1981 because at the end it says that
Scientology had just instituted their 15-16-17th suits
against me, and they sued me 19 times, and I also say at the
end that I plan to quit smoking soon and I did that in 1982.
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