All of them, those in power, and those who want the power, would pamper us, if we agreed to overlook their crookedness by wilfully restricting our activities.
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by Paulette Cooper more
Part 10: Falling Apart
It was also around that time that I became extremely afraid of going to prison and began having the recurring prison dreams which I am still plagued with to this day. Jay [addendum 1997: my lawyer], who would always predict the worst happening, said that with a fingerprint  [...], I had a 95% chance of conviction. He also felt that I had a small chance of a short prison sentence ("hopefully," he added) and I became frightened of physical and sexual dangers that would be harder to fight because of my small frame.
My biggest fear, though, and the one that caused me the most anxiety was that the story of my indictment and arrest would leak out in the press, especially since the public doesn't generally know the difference between someone who's indicted and someone who's guilty. I was petrified for my career, which had been going along so beautifully. But certainly no editor would ever give an assignment to someone indicted for sending bomb threats to people she had exposed. And if I was forced to leave freelance writing, which I had worked so hard to succeed in [addendum 1997: I already had four books out by the time I was 30] and was one of the few people to do so, I doubted whether it would be easy for me to get a job again with that kind of background if it was publicized.
These problems hounded me for years, as did acute anxiety about possible public humiliation — and the fact that it was all so bizarre made it likely to get extensive press coverage — to me and my parents. I hardly wanted every detail of my life coming out in the newspapers while looking like a criminal and I felt even worse for my poor [addendum 1997: adoptive] parents. Everything I had ever done in my life had been to make them proud of me, and not feel that they were wrong in adopting me. And now we were all about to be hurt and embarrassed publicly.