All of them, those in power, and those who want the power, would pamper us, if we agreed to overlook their crookedness by wilfully restricting our activities.
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Yeah, the standard ruins, lack of confidence, due to a really tall, skinny body with acne, etc. I also had seen UFOs on two occasions, always with other people who saw the same thing, and had naturally good ESP (theta perception) and wanted to work on it. I came in originally to get my sister Chel out of the 'cult' but started the Comm Course that same night! I had wins on it, and all the way up the Bridge, and do not fault the tech at all.
Disconnection is #1 with me. From 2001, November, when my Dad was declared SP with his second wife, because she was 'contacting the spirits of dead loved ones', an admittedly offbeat practice. I did not speak to him for 4 years, until 3 months after I had left the Sea Org in July of 2005. He has not heard from his other son or four daughters, or any of their kids (22 grandkids) since then. It is emotional slow torture for him. He has esophageal cancer and does not have long to live. He will likely die without hearing from any of them. Way to go, Scientology!!!
I also am estranged from my daughter, due to my overts, and ripping her brother off who later joined staff and then the SO at ASHO. She can't talk to her own brother whom she loves very much. I can't talk to my own mother, as I am declared SP. (for leaving the SO on short notice, technically a 'blow'.) She was taken off OT 7 due to her connection to me. My son cannot speak to me.
2. Staff conditions in the Sea Org. It blows, really. It is so insane you have to pinch yourself. Close order drilling daily. (right face, left face, about face) Crap food, not enough sleep, 110 hours a week 'schedule'. Can you say 'slave labor' boys and girls? I knew that you could.
3. Screaming in somebody's face is not tolerated in the world, generally. In the real world, people say fuck off and quit. And if you touch somebody, oh gawd, lawsuit city. Not in the Sea Org. Prepare yourself if you must go in, you will wish you hadn't. If your kid starts talking about going in, have him/her read the internet until they no longer think it's a great idea, and pat yourself on the back. Nice save, well done.
4. OK, now this will sound petty, but bear with me. If you smoke, you may not get this at all. In the SO, they can't smoke anywhere except the mess hall, as it is 'out-PR' to smoke publicly. So, the mess hall is CHOKED with second hand smoke after a few minutes of the start of a meal. I hated that part. I considered it an invasion of my space and health.
5. I renovated my room at the Hacienda before we moved in, with the help of several RPFers, some of whom I knew. Pat Harney's husband Mike, Dave Englehard and others. I felt for those guys. I saw Chris Sheehy and asked about Rick, her husband, one of the nicest guys you could ever know, and one of the best auditors I ever had. They had been in the RPF for awhile, and she couldn't say anything, except pass my regards to Rick. She did not look well. Poor food, little sleep, lack of medical and dental attention over a long time and the lifers look like meth freaks. Poor skin color, missing teeth. Ugly scene, man and here is the result: I could no longer reconcile my belief in LRH, and the scene before me. The staff are NOT going up the Bridge. They are for the most part unsessionable.
Staff at Tampa and Flag mostly get assists, PTS handlings, L1C lists, disagreement checks, sec checks for leaves and return from leaves, and very little actual grade chart progress. So, if the Bridge is so important, why don't the staff get up it? Where is Super Power, which was written up in 1978? Where is OT 9 and 10, finished in 1988? Don't listen, look. Go look at the org board plainly posted in any SO or Class IV org. The case level of staff is shown. You will not believe how LOW it is for people who have been in the SO for 20, 30 years!!!
I left after a short stint in the SO, after 34 years in Scientology and achieving OT 8. I also did all 3 L rundowns [Ls], total 200 hours of L's. I stayed because of family, and peer pressure. I spent a half a million dollars on myself and 1st wife. I left because it really is too expensive, you are encouraged to borrow, and this places you at risk, and it got me into a bad sit with my mother who loaned me a bundle. She had run up cards to stay on OT 7 and it blew up in her face. She is not the only one that has happened to.
My wife and I talked it over (suppressive act to talk over leaving) and agreed we were not going to be in this crazy nuthouse any more. After we had left, and read extensively on the internet, a lot of things became more clear. Our perceptions were correct, it is nutso in there.
Yes. Schedules are insane . If people worked 10 hours a day there would be lots of time for co-audits, etc. Feed everybody better. We were doing 2 and a half million a week in July 2005, and spending less than $50 thousand on food for the whole base including outer org trainees. My friends were wearing worn out, broken heeled shoes. Pathetic. The stories about how DM treats staff are too many to be false. He needs to be replaced with someone more humane. Get a dental budget that includes more than temporary filings and extractions (true story). If staff were happy, they would stay longer, and get more done.
No. I have burned my Bridges, pun intended. I am interested in seeing staff conditions improved, as I cannot let go of the friendship I still feel for those guys. All I can do now is try to get it pressured to reform. I refuse to shut up.
My family (35 people on the Bridge, 10 staff, at least 5 SO) may be adversely affected by my 'coming out' as a critic/attacker, call it want you want. I intend no disrespect to your right to believe what you want. If YOUR church kicks you off staff, or off the Bridge, all I can say is, take the time to catch up on your reading, on the internet, and find out what L. Ron Hubbard REALLY did before 1950. Find out about the drug use all during his 'OT' research. Ask yourself why no one else has ever REALLY been able to verify any of his sci-fi delusions called 'research'.
Ask yourself why you have not spoken to your own father, who loves you, who never harmed any church of Scientology, only helped renovate St. Louis, New York, Int base, and Cedars complex, because he loved his children, who now lies in misery wondering why his kids chose this religion over him. Call your father before it is too late. I will testify to my last breath, of what I have seen, or until Scientology reforms, declares an amnesty, and regroups.
There, I feel better.