By Yolanda Howell
14 November 1994
Source:
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.religion.scientology/msg/c5473637044de218
Version
française
The ill-effects of scientology on my family were devastating
and permanent. When we joined scientology we were generally a
loving and happy family. We had just built an upscale house in
the suburbs with all the amenities. My husband and I sought to
provide our family with the stability and caring that they
required. I was only 21, and had three children, ages four
months, one year and three years.
Within one year after joining scientology we were
divorced and had moved the children four times. My children and
I were living in squalor in the Sea Org.
I joined scientology staff at the local mission. This
quickly drove my husband crazy. He came to the mission to kill
everyone and threatened to blow his head off with a shotgun. I
acquired sole legal custody after the incident. Someone at the
mission "handled" him and he went on staff, too. He could not
pay child support.
I joined the Sea Org after being told by a Flag
recruiter that we would be given a "lovely" apartment. My
children, over my protests, were taken from me and sent to live
at the Cadet Org several blocks away. I was given training
which I later had to pay back as a freeloader's debt. The
promises of a wonderful environment — the most ethical on the
planet — were lies. The slum in my home city did not even
approximate the vile conditions to which we were subjected in
scientology. My children were kept filthy — their toys and
clothing were distributed throughout the Cadet Org. No one
owned anything.
My husband spread the rumor that I was starving my
children when the Cadet Org did not feed them properly. When I
protested the conditions of the Cadet Org and said I needed to
route out of the Sea Org to support them or get some welfare, I
was told it was unethical to use welfare and I could not route
out. I sent my children to live with my parents while I
attempted to route out of the Sea Org. My husband, aided by his
auditor and girl friend, stole them.
The Acting ED of the mission and my husband (who worked
there) had spread lies about me. So after I routed out, got
back to the mission and attempted to retrieve my children, no
one would speak to me. They gave no thought to the welfare of
my children or the fact that I had legal custody. "Wog" laws
don't matter in scientology. My ex worked on staff all day and
night. So, from a very early age, my oldest daughter was left
to baby sit the younger children, including neighbors'. He
married a woman who believed Hubbard's idea that it was better
if the real parents did not raise their own kids — mutual
engrams, you know. So, they proceeded to neglect my children,
causing my oldest daughter to become unstable and criminal, and
my five year old son to get hit — and killed — by a car as he
played, unsupervised, in a busy street. They swore he was
"protected by postulates."
I was ostracized by people at the mission and I was not
allowed input regarding my children's upbringing. But, at least
I could see my children occasionally. I had been forbidden to
criticize their upbringing. I feared loss — yet again — of my
children, if I spoke up.
Although I had said I was done with scientology, I was
told I could never see my children again unless I came up with
the money for auditing and my freeloaders debt. I was also told
that I would be declared (Suppressive) if I told anyone what
they had done with my children. The Acting ED said that he
intended to lie and say I had blown the Sea Org so no one would
listen to me, anyway. They paid no attention to the harm they
were doing to my children by abruptly depriving them of their
mother. I had been their major supporting parent since their
births.
When my daughter was five, she put razor blades in her
step mother's purse to "get even." My son clung to anyone with
long dark hair (like mine) and my second daughter was also hit
by a car. She was not killed. Her eye, however, was
permanently damaged when she was two. Another scientology child
of eight was left to baby sit her and five other children. The
scientologist whose house they were using was a beautician and
had left her supplies lying about. My daughter had rubbed hair
dye into her eye.
I baby sat other staff members' children and really
loved them. One thing was common in all families (most had one
or more divorces): the children were all deprived of a normal,
secure upbringing. In the Sea Org, many exec families had me
baby sit during my "enhancement time" because the conditions in
the Cadet Org were so bad. Later they all were ordered to send
their children to the Cadet Org, anyway. Several children got in
legal trouble for roaming the streets of Los Angeles,
unsupervised. Their parents got in trouble for not handling
their kids, in spite of the fact that they were given no time to
do so. Sea Org activities demanded the children and parents
were deprived of each others' company. The children were
deprived of adequate love and guidance. Instead they were given
Hubbard's trite phrases with which to guide their lives. They
were never taught to think or reason beyond using a "Hubbardism."
One little baby I knew in the Sea Org got herpes during
a Cadet Org epidemic. A 14 year old girl disclosed to me how
she and a few other little girls were leaving the Cadet Org in
the daytime and performing sexual services for one of the girl's
uncles in exchange for money. A man who worked in the Cadet Org
admitted he was sexually molesting the children. Although these
incidents were written up, as far as I know they were never
"handled."
I saw one staff member's child, who had been declared a
Suppressive Person at age 12, turned out onto the street with no
means of support. When he tried to sneak into the galley line
to get some food, he was physically jumped by two adults who
forced him outside again.
One woman's baby became very ill — thin and
colicky — after using the Hubbard's "baby formula." We were not
allowed to say it was bad, however. How I respected her for
saying that it was hurting her baby and she was going to give
him formula! He then recovered fully.
Another family always delivered their children at home
and never reported the births. If their children ever want to
join society, there will be no record of them. I knew of
another baby who died during a home birth with the cord wrapped
around its neck — a simple procedure with adequate hospital
care. But scientologists don't believe in that sort of thing.
My children, those who managed to survive a scientology
upbringing, are ill adjusted and have all sorts of social
problems. My middle daughter, who rejected scientology as the
thing that "broke up her family," has managed to graduate from
college through hard work and scholarships. Her family made a
lot of money, but it was dedicated to the "bridge." She does
not really want a career, however. She says all she wants is a
stable family where she can share love — something she never had
growing up.
The atrocities that have been committed against children
by individuals using scientology "technology" are reprehensible
enough to provide cause to place the cult in government
receivership. But if government agencies cannot or will not do
anything, then we must. We must speak out via pamphlets, books,
films, videos, interviews and any other media. Only by joining
together and speaking out publicly can we protect other children
from the horrors to which our own were subjected.
Yolanda Howell |