6. A few months after joining the Sea Organization I realized I needed to re-order the medication I was on for Epilepsy. I was routed to a person they called the Medical Liaison Officer, or the MLO. This was a young man I was told was studying nutrition. He had no actual medical training that I knew of. He informed me that I needed to get off of my medication, and that he would write out a program to get off of it. In Scientology if you have ANY illness it is considered there is something wrong with you, not just physically, but that this is a very bad thing, caused by you being connected to someone who is suppressive to you. At least that was the beginning pitch I heard.

[...]

9. Finally one morning in the shower I knocked my front teeth out during a Grand Mal seizure. All during this time my mother was begging me to go back on all of my medication. Being new in Scientology, I assured her Dianetics and Scientology would handle this. Finally, after so many seizures and so much trauma, I realized no matter what these people thought, I wasn't going to live if I kept doing this. At that point I decided to go back on my medication in full, no matter what.

[...]

19. After attesting to OT 3, I once again tried to get off of my medication, only to end up in a hospital with status epileptus, or many seizures. I finally went back on all medication, and have stayed on it, and have never had a seizure since.

«Tory Christman is a former member of the Church of Scientology. She left the organization in 2000, after being a member for about 30 years and is now one of its most visible and high-profile critics, having appeared on CNN, NPR and in the LA Times, and many other media outlets.

In this discussion with D.J. Grothe, Christman recounts her experiences in Scientology, as well as her views about the church's practices with current and former members. She describes her participation in the church's anti-free-speech activities on the internet in the 1990's, and her views on the group Anonymous, a new web-based organization that seeks to respond to Scientology's activities. She explores some of the doctrines and beliefs of Scientology, including the church's views on medical science and psychiatry, auditing, Xenu, becoming a "clear," and e-meters. She also stresses the important role of science and critical thinking in confronting the challenges Scientology may bring to its detractors and adherents alike.»

What words can you say to someone who had helped save your life? There really aren't words deep enough that I know of to express the gratitude I feel. What words can you say to someone who helped you view your new situation with a new and better view? What words can I say to tell each of you that your kindness, and support, and love — from not only critics, and ex-Scientologists, but Scientologists, and many people who have NOTHING to do with this, at all, but write me periodically, telling me they've followed my story, and thank me for my courage.

This web site is dedicated to all of the many critics who have spent years helping to expose the abuses of the organization known as the Church of Scientology and to those who have helped people wake up and see the light.
 
 Also, I'd like to dedicate this to my friends who are still trapped "In", who have yet to discover their courage to leave and/or speak out about Scientology.
 
 Lastly, to my father, Paul Christman, (the original Magoo!) who's legacy helped me discover my own courage, and begin the long road out of Scientology... to true freedom. —Tory (Bezazian) Christman

She talks about her experiences as a 30 year member of Scientology and the pain families endure from Scientology’s policies.

Tory Christman (former married name Tory Bezazian; online name "Magoo") born 1947, is a former member of the Church of Scientology who left the organization in 2000, after being a member about three decades. She is now one of its most visible and high-profile critics, making frequent media appearances.

Anyways, I spent years trying to get off of the medications I needed, unsuccessfully. I went back on the medications I needed, as my Mother had pointed out, "No, Dianetics won't fix it! Tory, they're going to KILL you!" I had fallen in the shower and broke my front teeth, and was losing my memory daily. Finally I agreed to return to taking my medications. I spent years and years and years being looked down on, Just as Tom did the other day, by Scientologists who thought they knew better.

Before that night, I had decided this was getting WAY too weird, and I asked Bill: Isn't this going to be obvious this IS Church of Scientology doing this? I didn't know much about what they were actually doing with all of this, (as he wouldn't tell me for my "Protection"), but I'd watched him create phony identities for years, and lie to people on ARS, IRC, and possibly OC.

His response? "Oh no: we're spamming tons of other places on the Net, so they won't be able to tell it's us (Scientology/OSA) doing it".

Having lived within the Scientology community, as part of the organization that calls itself, "The Church of Scientology" for 30 years, and then having woken up and left, I would now like to present some major contradictions from my own personal experiences.

[...] Even as Scientology comes under assault from outside forces, it is also, say former members, bleeding from within. "I see more and more people leaving and willing to speak," says Tory Christman, who worked in the Office of Special Affairs for 20 years and says she spent more than $200,000 on Scientology courses before dropping out in 2000. Christman left—or "blew," in Scientology parlance—because she has epilepsy and wasn't permitted to take medication for it; psychiatric and neurological drugs are a serious no-no. But after two decades of working her way up the Bridge, she was forced to confront the fact that even L. Ron Hubbard could not cure epilepsy. [...]

«We don't have to tell YOU about L.Ron Hubbard, his book Dianetics, and the religion it spawned—Scientology. In fact, until just recently, most media outlets WOULDN'T tell you about it given Scientology's well-deserved reputation for litigation. Instead, let us tell you about Tory Bezazian.

In 1969 Tory hitchhiked from Chicago to L.A. to become a disciple of Dianetics. She invested untold tens of thousands of hours and dollars in it (the annual price tag for a membership in the International Association of Scientologists is a cool $1 million at the Gold Patron Meritorious level). In time, she rose to the level of OT VII, Scientology's second highest rank. But she couldn't cross "The Bridge" to OT VIII and become "clear" because Scientology's all-powerful "auditors" said the evil alien thetas still clung to her body. Oh yeah, and she had epilepsy.

Still, Tory joined the Scientology Parishioners League (sort of a Scientology Anti-Defamation League) where she spearheaded ferocious attacks against any imagined media slight of L. Ron or Dianetics. She became the indefatigable "Magoo," nemesis of the Internet newsgroups alt.religion.scientology and www.xenu.net.

Eventually, Tory was an ordained "minister" and worked as a trainer of new Scientology initiates, like John Travolta. [...]»

«[...] "Andy, I cannot tell you how devastated I am. I am sitting here crying. I cannot stop crying. No one will meet with me, Andy...I have been a Scientologist since I was 19 years old....I am not sure what to do. All of my friends, everyone I know -- everyone -- is a Scientologist...So the minute I say I am out of the church, my life is over...I love my friends, and the very thought that tomorrow they cannot speak to me, ever again, is just too much for my soul."

It was obvious to them both: As soon as Bezazian admitted her doubts, the Church of Scientology would instruct parishioners to "disconnect" from her. Heldal-Lund knew it would be a devastating experience. He tried to give her encouragement. [...]»

Tory Christman was in Scientology for 30 years. This video was shot a few days after she left the group.

[...] Early 2000 an anonymous poster called Magoo joined ARS and started posting thousands of more or less off-topic messages, talking about "us" and something called "lie therapy". Most of it sounded too strange for me so I ignored it in the beginning. Magoo created a lot of hubbub on the group back then. After a while I got interested in the person/persons behind the nick and Magoo and I started talking on the newsgroup and continued by e-mail. To her I was The Devil because I had this site and she had reported me to OSA who replied that they were working on closing me down. After a while Magoo started telling more and more and one day she told her real name (at that time Tory Bezazian, now Tory Christman) and that she had been a Scientologist for 30 years. She was obviously struggling with her conviction and desperately needed someone to talk to. [...] - Andreas Heldal-Lund, Webmaster Operation Clambake.

"Speaking Freely": Tory explains why she left Scientology and what life is like outside of "The Truman Show."

The tears from this family............... I cannot write about, as I begin crying just remembering their deep pain, and to this day the deep pain they feel, as I'm sure each family who has lost their child (I now know 6 Scientology families where their child took their life — I believe due to Disconnection).

«I suddenly asked one man, "Did you ever see the movie, 'The Truman Show'? He looked like a light bulb came on: "Ohhhhhh yes!" I said, "Exactly! When you're 'in' Scientology, you literally cannot see the walls.»