Catarina Sandström Pamnell
Former scientologist.
Catarina Sandström Pamnell's web site
My
Scientology life - A new way to look at life, that
acknowledges the spiritual dimensions of existance,
while still not demanding blind faith from followers.
Practical, useful methods that can successfully help
people find a happier life. Statements like these
attracted me into joining Scientology. But behind the
pretty front I encountered a fascist ideology, greed for
money and power, uniformed 'elite troops', forced labor
camps, members who gradually seemed to lose their normal
human emotions...
Declaration of Warren McShane in RTC vs. Panoussis -
Did you hear about the 'secret' levels of Scientology
that have been spread on the internet, the stories of
space ruler Xenu and space alien spirits haunting us
all? Want to know if they really are the true
teachings of the Church of Scientology? Check out what
one of the top men in Scientology hierarchy has to say
about it.
Xenu Illustrated - The 'secret' levels too long and
boring to read? Don't despair, here's the cartoon.
Another
day in Scientology-land: Introduction
Involvement in Scientology may also bring
large consequences for the individual. Most of those I saw
joining were pretty normal, intelligent, decent people, who only
wanted to do something to improve themselves and the world. They
didn't realize that they were stepping into a nightmare world of
deceit, greed, manipulation and world domination schemes, where
some people get badly hurt.
The Scientology
organisations do NOT tell you the whole truth about their actual
beliefs, goals and activities! Inform yourself -
their next recruit could be your own child, brother, sister,
partner, friend...
Another day in Scientology-land: Introduction: Starting on 'the
Road to Total Freedom'...
By 1983, two years after reading my first
Hubbard book, I had gone from a reasonably well-ordered life
(steady job, friends, money in the bank, no drug or
psychiatric problems, etc.) to a complete mess. I had quit
my office job, and worked in the local Scientology
organisation in Stockholm, Sweden, for 'wages' of around
$10-15 a week. My money was all gone after paying over
$10,000 for their courses. I had nowhere to live, as the
person I had been renting a room from got kicked out of
Scientology, which meant that other Scientologists were not
allowed any contact with her. The organization's Ethics
Officer told me I had to move out within 24 hours. I didn't
eat or sleep much, had practically no contact anymore with
my family and former friends, and was becoming increasingly
depressed and unstable. So why didn't I just quit? By then,
I had begun to accept the view that if any Scientology
methods didn't work out very well for me, it was solely due
to my own shortcomings.
Another day in Scientology-land: Introduction: ...and ending up
in the DPF - a Scientology labor camp
One night I was told that I was going to be
thrown out of Scientology and declared a 'Suppressive Person' -
somebody who is an enemy of Scientology and humankind. This
happened to several people on the DPF. It would mean getting out
of that basement, but I just couldn't imagine life outside
anymore. All I knew was that my eternal future was lost.
Somebody who has been declared 'SP' is not allowed to have
any further contact with scientologists, and may not do the
courses that are supposed to be necessary to save you as a
spiritual being - it's equivalent to eternal condemnation.
When they told me the next day that I could stay, I was
immensely grateful. I thought my bosses were absolutely
wonderful beings for saving me from the dark pit. (Why did
they keep me on? According to a memo I've happened to see, I
was in such a bad shape that they were afraid it would have
caused Scientology a very embarrassing situation if I had
gone back to my family in that state. To make Scientology
look good is more important than anything else.)
Another day in Scientology-land: Introduction: Back to the real
world
After more than ten years, I decided to
pick up on my education, to be able to get a better job. At
college, I got access to the Internet on the student
computers. Someone showed me how to use a search engine, and
one day I got the idea to enter 'scientology', thinking the
church might have some web site. To my surprise, the result
was a loooong list of hits, and a closer look soon revealed
that many of these sites were most certainly not approved by
the church. There were critical stories from former members,
some of whom had held high positions in the church
hierarchy. There were horrifying tales of how Scientology
was harassing critics, trying to stop them from speaking
out. There was information about Hubbard's past that did not
at all agree with the official story. And there were the
'secret levels', the ones I had been told contained the
highest level of spiritual knowledge on this planet.
Another day in Scientology-land: Introduction: Later reflections
Some have asked me if I consider it the fault
of Scientology that I myself ended up in psychological
difficulties. I believe there is rarely one single cause for
such situations, that earlier experiences and biological factors
always make up part of the reason why you react the way you do
in any given situation. But I also believe that a non-empathic,
blaming, controlling environment like the one I encountered
within the Scientology organization will never assist a person
to get better in a crisis situation, and may make matters worse.
Still, the whole experience has illuminated some vital points in
life for me - the priceless value of compassion, humor,
friendship, generosity and a humble attitude to life. The
Church of Scientology ideals of grandiose, chilly,
controlled, super-human perfection hold no attraction.
Living like a robot really sucks.
[ Up ]
[ Page 1 ] [
Home
]