The irony of Helena asking about clams comes from L Ron Hubbard's ridiculous claim, in the book "A History of Man", that human beings evolved from clams. The relevant quotes are given in the CLAMFAQ.
From: buk@gmx.de (Buk)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
Subject: Berlin: Helena Kobrin was here and asked *me* about CLAMS!!!
Date: Tue, 28 Oct 1997 22:47:39 GMT
Organization: Unlimited Surprise Systems, Berlin
Lines: 86
Message-ID: <34586b77.61249805@news.snafu.de>
I had an encounter of the unusual kind on Monday during the
Scientology-Concert at the Brandenburg Gate here in Berlin. There were
a couple of thousands Scientologists, most of them from the US.....and
almost none No-Scientologists.
Bid and me got hungry during listening to the concert, so we checked
out some of the food-stands for this event there. One was with all
sorts of different fried Seafoods, so we decided to celebrate the day
with a plate of *fried Clams*.
I went up there to stand in line and sort of drifted off in my
thoughts, thinking: "Gee, here I am, right in my cosy home-town,
suddenly surrounded by thousands of Scientologists. What a surreal and
bizarre scene". But I didn't know, what was yet to come......
When it was almost my turn to order, the person standing behind me
tipped onto my shoulder and asked: "Excuse me, do you speak Englisch?"
I said: "Yes" and after slowly turning around, I realized, that it was
..... Helena Kobrin, THE HELENA KOBRIN, who was that person behind me.
but that wasn't all...she then really knocked me off my feet:
Helena asked: "Could you please tell me, what this is?".....pointing
onto the image, which read "Muscheln". I was quite startled for a
second and then replied truthfully in a firm, slow voice: "Sure, those
are *Clams*. *YOU* sure do know, what *Clams* are, don't *you*?"
She didn't recognize my insisting tone and said: "Oh, yes, thank
you."...then she asked me to translate another dish as well, but I had
never heard of this one before, so she mentioned, that this must be an
odd dish then, if I didn't even know it as a German.
After a short pause, I couldn't hold myself down to get this cleared
up, so I turned around again and the following dialogue happened:
Buk: "Excuse me for asking, but your first name is Helena, right?"
HK (startled): "Yes, how do you know me?"
Buk: "I have seen your picture on the Web. You are Helena Kobrin, the
Scientology-Lawyer and you are quite a celebrity on the Internet."
HK:"Oh, you think so?"
Buk:"You know something: *No one* will ever believe me this. Right
here in Berlin, Helena Kobrin asking *me* about Clams. You can
understand, *why* I find this extremly funny, that it is *you*, who
asks about Clams? You know, what I mean?"
HK (with a tiny, but annoyed smile):"Yeah, I guess so. But can't I
just eat, what I like?".
Buk:"Oh sure, you just totally threw me off with your question"
Then I looked for Bid, who stood about 20 feet away and I yelled real
loud in my enthusiasm across the crowd of Scientologists: "Bid, Bid,
this is Helena Kobrin right here and guess what: She is asking *me*
about Clams! Can you believe it?"
Helena and me wished each other then a nice day and I went off with my
Clams...but decided, to go up to her once more and tell her, that I
had not just seen her picture, but also knew about her work:
Buk: "Excuse me again....Can I say hello to you from Mr. Ward? You do
know Grady Ward?"
HK (in a serious voice):"Yes, I do. What is with him?"
Buk:"Oh, nothing. I am just a friend of his."
("Friend" was quite an exagerration, I have never even exchanged any
E-Mail with Grady. I hope, Grady can forgive me for this)
HK: "You are? Who are you? What is your name?"
Buk:"I am just a local guy here from Berlin. You are the celebrity
here, not me."
Then I wished her again a pleasant stay in Berlin, she thanked me for
it and we parted. And no, I do not know, if she did order Clams after
all.
Some critic suggested to me, that it might have been some setup by the
Scientologists, since Bid was likely known, but I don't really think
it was. Who can be sure though? I do believe though, that Helena was
only having some fun at this Scientology-Event, when she was asking
me. And it was *her* in the end, who was really confused, that she had
picked - among those thousands of Scientologists - a critic to ask
him about Clams at this Scientology-Event.
I sure hope, I didn't spoil the evening for her. The concert really
was fun, despite being a Scientology-Event.
Buk