Scientology: a young sect ex-member reports for the first time

by Michaela Haas
21 April 1997
Sueddeutsche Zeitung more

Anonymous translation from German.

Source: http://groups.google.com/group/alt.religion.scientology/msg/4f053d763f7e1277
Source: http://groups.google.com/group/alt.religion.scientology/msg/3f37352becfb5b8c
Source: http://www.lermanet2.com/cisar/survey/hp.htm#trn0454

Tanya's Training as the perfect machine.

She wanted to become a better, happier person - what a 16 year old went through instead with the elite corps of Hubbard youths in England.

Hamburg, in April. Tanya spoke cooly and detached, like a radio announcer, as she told how she lost her childhood. She neither raised, nor lowered, her voice. Her hands rested motionless on her legs. No picture hangs on the white walls of her small dwelling to liven up the emptiness. Tanya had been on the highest road there was, as described by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard in his vision of a god-like person, "a perfect machine, well oiled, shimmering with power, and in a position to direct all her own functions without need of any further expectation."

Tanya does not look like she has just come of age. Her chubby-cheeked face with no make-up under her shoulder-length, red hair makes her look child-like, but what she says and how she says it has nothing to do with youthfulness, nothing innocent. She is so horribly grown up, as only a person, who has never been permitted to have a proper childhood, can be. Perhaps it will become clear to this teenager, what hopes and dreams Scientology appeals to, how cleverly the organization seizes hold of a person's identity. Whenever Tanya talks about Scientology, she says "we" or "church" — just as she has been trained to do from a toddler onwards.

It has been nine months since Tanya fled Saint Hill with the help of the British police. The Sea Org in Saint Hill, officially an elite organization of Scientology in Sussex, England, is what Scientology parents dream of for their children. This is where the future leaders of the so-called church are trained, a salvation group which is supposed to lead humanity over "the bridge to total freedom." From what Tanya tells us, though, it does not sound like a religious place.

Tanya was 16 years old when she stopped going to school in Stuttgart and went to Saint Hill — voluntarily. "I thought that the people there would be like saints," she said. "You heard people saying that everyone there abided by the rules, no one scolded you, no one lied, nobody fooled you. You were told that everything there was so perfect." Her father had just moved in with his new girlfriend, and Tanya felt she was in the way. In Saint Hill, she thought, she would be received with open arms by a loving community. Tanya joined Scientology and signed a "contract for a billion years." That means for this life and for all others in which you come back. She sighed. That would not have been stupidity, she said, half apologizing, "that was naiveté." She had been promised 30 (British) pounds per week, and a day off every other Saturday. However, when she got to Saint Hill, nothing was perfect and nothing happened as promised.

Bullies in Charge

What awaited Tanya was eight to ten hours work per day, followed by five hours study of the Hubbardist writings. She seldom got to bed before midnight. About 300 Scientologists live in Saint Hill, including, according to Scientology's own statement, 77 children and teenagers. "There were more and more children," said Tanya. She pulls a pile of photographs from a paper bag in order to show a picture of herself. Her red hair shone unmistakably from a crowd of young girls in school uniforms. At the time she was still slim. She put on many pounds later, as if she needed this thick, soft, protective layer.

The photographs also show a castle-like manor, a luxuriously furnished library, and splendid, wood-panelled halls, "really very idyllic, a vision of beauty," said Tanya. She pointed to a building in the background of the 22 hectare (55 acre) park. That was the sauna for the "purification rundown," a cure in which Scientologists sit for hours in the sauna in order to sweat out poisons. She and other youths had helped to build the sauna. "That was hellish work. Also, we had to dig the path through the park. We had to dig it up three times, each time approximately one meter (yard) deep and one meter wide. That was the time that we had to work throughout the night.

Apparently no work was too rigorous for children, some of whom were 14 years old. She received the promised amount of money for her work once or twice, other times she received nothing, "or only three to six pounds and as good as never got a day off. Because, in order to have a day off, you had to have somebody to replace you. And there simply wasn't anybody." Tanya raises serious accusations. She was not permitted to leave her post, not even when she had a fever. One time she was beat up by another Scientologist. "They didn't want to let me go to the doctor, until I told them I would not lift another finger at work." The doctor diagnosed a brain concussion and prescribed at least three days rest, "but I was not permitted to lie down. I was on post." Sometimes she was not relieved to go eat or to use the bathroom. "If I went anyway, there was trouble. They took it out on you. You were yelled at and humiliated. There is a rigid hierarchy at Saint Hill."

Every offense was recorded in the ethics file, detailed accounts which are used if someone breaks the Scientology rules. "Then they write the report which goes into the folder." That way the sect has information on everybody, "and if you want to leave, they can use it to put pressure on you." Tanya reported exactly, and, upon being questioned, recalled precise details. The Scientology Commissioner of the Hamburg Senate, Ursula Caberta, who takes care of Tanya, regards her as absolutely credible.

Scientology reacts nervously to all this. Unsummoned, Scientology speaker Georg Stoffel showed up at the "Sueddeutsche Zeitung" editorial desk. He asked whether the "SZ" had researched Tanya's history, and he wanted to present proof that Tanya was a notorious liar, had stolen, a relative had even threatened to take legal measures because of this. Weeks before, in a different matter, he had sent a five page letter from Tanya's father, an ardent Scientologist, in which he regretted that his daughter had broken off her "process of self- and truth discovery" at Saint Hill. As far as any unpleasantness she may have related about his "church", he said she was an "underage girl ... still unstable", and had problems with honesty. However, the father was not ready to talk with the "SZ". His attorney said that he would sue if his family name were to be made public.

Anyway, the Scientology speaker wanted to present proof against Tanya. Stoffel and his colleague, Sabine Weber, waited for us in one of the conference rooms of the Dianetic center in Munich, under a giant picture of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard. They had a pile of documents — but these did not have to do with Tanya, but about alleged discrimination against Scientologists. The accusation against Tanya turned out to be an angry letter by an aunt who complained that Tanya had drunk nine liters of cola, taken 20 marks, and ran up a 400 mark ($300) phone bill, not entirely unusual offenses for a teenager. An opinion from Saint Hill dismissed Tanya's accusations as "dream-like fantasies of a manipulated teenager." However, the Scientologists confirmed Tanya's credibility in their letter. She was involved in the construction of the sauna. The letter read, "her work hours were from 8:30 a.m. to 10 at night" - as if that were a normal assignment.

The strident orders, the arduous physical labor to the point of total exhaustion, even the existence of a punishment camp in Saint Hill — called a "rehabilitation project" in Scientology jargon — all that has been testified to in detail by both English and and other German ex-members. This is the first time a youthful ex-Scientologist has spoken about what happens to children in the most feared and most secret cadre of the sect, the Sea Org. How an entire generation of the sect is put to work there, how they have perhaps no chance of ever finding their way out of the Scientology maze. Previously only Scientology's failed attempt to put children into their own school in Hamburg, the successful establishment of a school in Denmark, to which Scientology children from Hamburg are also sent, was known.

In Hubbard's teachings, there are no children, only thetans, god-like beings, in larger or smaller bodies. "Every law which pertains to the behavior of men and women", wrote Hubbard, "also pertains to children." An adult German ex-Scientologist said that she had seen with her own eyes, at Saint Hill, an eight year old who had been certified as a so-called auditor, a Scientology confessor, who manipulates others with hypnotic processes. "Age is not as important in Scientology," said Tanya, "as how much you produce. Because of this, children can occupy positions of great importance. You must call them "sir" and hold the door open for them." Her direct supervisor at Saint Hill had been 13 years old.

Tanya, born in Zimbabwe, grew up in South Africa, and took her first Scientology course when she was about eight years old. It was a children's communication course in Johannesburg. "It was supposed to improve my relationship with my stepmother," said Tanya, "but it didn't do that." Her mother died when Tanya was four years old. Her father and his new wife were Scientologists. They took many courses and paid a high price. "My family had paid much money for that," said Tanya, "in Scientology, nothing is for free." At seven years old, the oldest son of her father's girlfriend had already had to get auditing, hours long interrogation on a lie detector. "He hated it, every time. A child does not want to go into the org on weekends, sit in a room for hours, and be interrogated."

The questionnaire for a typical "Security Check" for six to twelve year olds shows how systematically children have feelings of shame of guilt thrust upon them: "What has someone forbidden you to tell?" - "Have you ever disappointed your parents?" — "Have you ever done something to your body that you should not have done?" and so forth, up to 99 questions.

When she was hit as a child, said Tanya, she was not consoled, but asked instead, "What have you done wrong?" That is supposed to mean, "What mistake have I made that I have pulled in this kind of unhappiness?" At home she was very unhappy and lonely. "One time I asked my father what he would do if I killed myself. His answer: 'You are responsible for yourself.'" This is a typical answer for a Scientologist, says Tanya, who settled the matter by going away to Saint Hill.

After Tanya proved herself by helping to build the sauna, "after numerous intelligence tests and checks", she was assigned to one of the seven "divisions." Tanya went to the HCO, the Hubbard Communications Office. "We were responsible for everything that had to do with communications, the front line for mail and advertising," she said. All mail was opened. Advertisements, which came in bundles of up to 4,000 pieces, had to be folded, and put in envelopes by the children, and stamped. HCO was also responsible for recruiting new people, preventing escapes, and bringing back escapees. More people left, said Tanya, than supposed, but very few of them are willing to talk about their experiences - out of fear. The organization knows everything about the defectors. Everything has been recorded in the "ethics folders", anything said by a Scientologist during his auditing sessions. Tanya said, "You were really treated like a piece of garbage." Six months later she knew enough about the structure to plan her own escape from Saint Hill.

At first, Tanya announced officially that she wished to leave. As a result of that, she says, she was locked in a room by the security officials. "I had to write everything down that I have ever done wrong in my life. I cheated on a test once. I stole five marks, everything possible." She was put on the lie detector and put under constant watch. "Someone was constantly with me so that I would not take off, so that I would not do anything wrong." Tanya altered her tactics. She claimed that her father was on his death bed after a heart attack, and that she had to see him — and she received leave.

In August of 1996, she traveled back to Saint Hill to pick up her personal belongings. She thought that her lies had not yet been detected. Nevertheless, Scientology had suspicions, and Tanya became afraid. With the help of Ursula Caberta, the Scientology Commissioner of the Hamburg Senate, and the British police, she finally fled Saint Hill two days later.

Tanya's narrative sounds like a nightmare, and it is continuing. She reported that, directly after her escape, she was approached by two unknown men in an automobile while she was on her way to Caberta's office, "Tanya, what are you doing here?" Tanya thought one of them wished to shake her hand, because he held his hand out. "But then, when I did not reach out to shake his hand, he grabbed me and pulled me into the car." The men drove her around for hours, apparently without going anywhere. Tanya lost her sense of direction. "They said I knew what was going to happen, and I had earned it." Tanya supposed that she would be brought back to England. "I committed a crime, just taking off like that." As they drove through a city, she was able to break loose at a stop light. She called for the police. The search for the kidnappers turned up nothing. The investigation had to be called off without being closed. However, the speaker for the Hamburg District Attorney's Office, Ruediger Bagger, confirmed that the case was being taken seriously, but he did not wish to go into details. "I don't want to claim that it was Scientologists," said Tanya, "but they used Scientology words. Nobody else speaks like that."

To Finally Be Important

After that, Tanya hardly went out of the house alone. During that time, she said, she could hardly sleep at night. She was constantly running over to the window whenever she heard a car outside. She assumed a false identity, a false background. Despite protective measures, for three weeks she has been terrorized over the telephone. Some evenings the telephone rings incessantly, sometimes at three o'clock in the morning, and nobody is ever on the other end. She thought it over very carefully before telling her story to this newspaper. It is a kind of reparation: she had recruited other children into Scientology and possibly ruined their lives. It is also the conclusion of her past years, closing down of her past with Scientology, as well as her childhood in a broken home. Going to the press, as far as the Scientologists are concerned, is one of the worst sins. Ursula Caberta says that the police are informed and will now "have to check more often into Tanya's rights." Tanya says, "Scientology is a dictatorship, and I want everybody to know that."

She also still blames herself. "Somehow I was stupid enough to believe all that," she said, and recalled some of the absurd ideas that had been made a part of her childhood: "That one could recall things in this life which happened millions of years ago, that you were maybe a rock, I think ..." she says and taps her forehead. She had to also recall what she liked about it, "the feeling of being important, being good, doing anything, and being able to get anything. That's what most people are looking for, and that's how you end up in there."

Starting in August, Tanya will be going back to school again, two years behind her class. She is on her own, aided by a welfare grant. She only has contact with her grandmother, from whom she has learned that her father does not want anything more to do with her. Tanya wrote him a letter, really only one line, "Since I love him, it's all the same to me what happens." She just does not want to be one of those people who do not say when they love others. She says, "I do not think that he will ever speak with me again." [more about Disconnection]